Monday, March 17, 2008

Ween, Forum

Cigarette packets and fortune cookies sat atop their amps. Like Bananas and Blow it was a typical Ween incongruity that made perfect sense. Deaner riffed a lot and made faces like he’s pounding his girlfriend unhappily. The intensity with which he flailed his guitar, we too felt on the receiving end of those copulant thrusts, his expression contorting within an inch of a Nixon mask, sweat gleaming through a wash of coloured lights, droplets raining down from his not-insignificant nose and chin. It was a bit heavy in there. Not up his nostril, but inside the Forum

Exactly where I’m at was a corking fuse to light up with. HIV/AIDS was a dance celebration, a very grim one. Voodoo Lady’s guitar solo was so dredged in classic sounds it warped back to the 60s and gave birth to a psychedelic chicken that laid an egg that hatched Lobby Lloyd! Jokey tunes enacted by a louche Gene doing the sleaze lounge get-up ala the Ramada Inn at noon on a weekday were particularly unpleasant — Piss up a rope being a high water mark, no pun intended. Gene then lit a ciggie, picked something gross off his face (seriously what was that?) and threw it down on the ground with impunity. From there, the band lobbied a sax-less, yet sexy Your Party. Good times.

"See ol' Jimmy Wilson dance, give that boy a dime and you don't stand a chance, oh see ol' Jimmy Wilson dance," Ween sang during Waving my Dick in the Wind and my girlfriend yelled out that it reminded her of Charles Portis' Dog of the South. I looked at her strange. "You're in that hotel foyer", she said. “And you my cuteness are on Planet Jupiter”.

The Stallion was good, to which an encyclopaedic fan nearby noted pedantically over the din, “ITS PART 5, THE FINALE IN THE STALLION SERIES!!”

Someone said the ex-Blood, Sweat and Tears keyboardist was the ex-keyboardist from Earth, Wind and Fire, but I thought those dudes were all brothers and this dude was white — anyway he played a fantastic synthesiser solo at the tail end of Zoloft, or at least that was what my notes said, but those things were unbelievable, not unbelievable like wow, but unbelievable like they should not be trusted.

The sounds and the smoke machine made everybody light up doobs despite the no smoking policy; this swarthy dude beside me was toking crazily. The guy to the other side of him asked him for a drag, and Richard Smoker started whingeing about how if he gave him some then he would have to give some to everybody and then he wouldn’t have any left and then the guy told him he was going to blackmail him and he would probably end up in prison new best mates with a seven footer named Bubba.

7 comments:

Mistress Bel said...

Banana and Blow? Is that another dish that Cook has deprived me of.

Pounding? You've got so hard and rocknroll boy.

Is that Poison's Cherry Pie I hear you playing in the background?

Oh i wanted to do italics but blogger dot com wouldn't let me.

boy moritz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
boy moritz said...

Cherry Pie was Warrant. Get with it Sister Christian. Next you'll say 'Screaming in the Night' was by Black and Blue.

Mistress Bel said...

Oh right. Well you should know you're the hard, dumb-ass rocknroller. Doobie do to you.

At least I know how to delete a comment completely.

And it was Fletcher Christian.

boy moritz said...

Well I clearly won this round

Mistress Bel said...

Granted You were right about the Cherry Pie song that i was talking about. Poison did do a song by the same name. However you used the term "pounding" and spoke about doobies. So it's a V I C T O R Y
for the mistress and a Rock on Tommy to you.

Now I must tell cook to get some bananas ...

Anonymous said...

FUCK YOU, TWEAKER!!!!

WEEN HATES YOU!!!ONE1